Untitled

Her wet eyelashes rested on her beautiful face in the rain of tears. The shiny mirror of her life lay in pieces that would never be put together again. She had lived to kill her soul, her own. If only she could name him. Her ears would long for the voice of her own. She would shriek and scream, cry and weep for a nameless part of her. They never showed him what was her own. For months she kept him in her bosom, fed him her own blood and painted a million dreams for him. Today she had him no more. Her hands were free, her legs untied yet she lay helpless only with her tears to dry.

The pain had suddenly reminded of her ordeal for nothing. It had made her soft skin pale and her gentle pink face red with sorrow. A few feathers lay around her as her nails had dug the sheet and the mattress she lay on. Going into an ecstasy of blinding pain, she yearned to hear a beautiful cry on the other side. There was only deafening silence.

A world had come down on her and she would fight back with an ocean of tears; until she sank into them.

June 8 1997

Nazeeha Chaudry gave birth to a sub developed fetus. It was never shown to her and was declared property of the teaching hospital.

June 11 1997

Nazeeha Chaudry was declared deceased due to post child birth complications.

PS. This is a work of pure fiction with any collision with reality purely unintentional

Körperfotogramm. (©Floris Neusüss - Courtesy of the Atlas Gallery)

Nuktey -urdu poem-

Basti mein in murdoo ki

Zindagi ko parvan charhana ha

Ek nuktey k ghulam ban ge hazar

Ghoomay ja baja har bazaar

K eik meri aas thi

Who bhi jo meri pyas thi

Us nuktey k who loogh

Uthey bachey chor maa ki ghud

Yad aaya woh jo us din aya tha nazar

Jis k naam pe hum ne ki eik zindagi basar

Who nuktey na miley jahan

Hum chor aey apna sab kutch wahan

Humey yad sab kutch tha magar

Sabar ker k unke hum chaley dagar

Nuktey phir jag uthey eik din

Ghulam unke hai sarey insaa o jinn

Dekh raha hon mei yahan beth

Rang jo bikharey ga har har khet

K un nukto k baghair lafzoo ki kya okaat

Jaisey namaz ho bina rakaat

Gar unko ghum ho tu kyun na mein rou jaon

Unke liye mei tu bas mar jao

Tamam lugat ha dushman-e-nukta

Ab mujh pe aa nahi sakta koi sakta

K abb tu safey bandhi hain k ho ada namaz

Kahey na koi ab k aai na humey awaz

-dabeer hemani

Gentle

for the roses that bloom;
for the rivers that flow;
today air is so pure and sight is sweet;
i see my lover and the drums do beat.
make the sun cool down and the night all bright;
leave the drought and come to the abundance;
for today all the old will young.
come oh dear on the throne of me;
for my ego swept away;
with open arms, I have nothing to say.
on the cliff I wait, its high but I know you will make your way;
i wait today with my open gates;
in the day and in the dark when its late.

-dabeer hemani

freedom served caged

Looks like the stage is set,
the elders have placed the bet,
for the souls not here yet,
the blood that drips still red;

so you thought a prayer  would do,
helpless we are to all know who,
on our knees we drag to,
get the freedom to be caged in a zoo;

the victory bells are sounding already,
our spirits no longer steady,
trying to lurk from one to another getty;

we stand as a mob today,
and the corpses that we lay,
knees feel weak the hair go grey,
long ago someone choose for me this way;

though a star shines above,
the battlefeild and the white dove,
one who teaches the wild about love;

the clouds have gathered and they thunder,
no rules for your beautiful blunder,
here we sit and wonder,
reasons for why men would plunder;

thought the answer we got was simple,
they wanted to set an example,
for their children and wives to be ample,
some had to live crippled;

wow to the 'men' who kill,
paint red the green hill,
for them its an honour and thrill,
long live the will,
no talks for any guilt.





dabeer h.

Screams of the emptiness

screams of the emptiness



a thought that occured today,
our shadows moving away,
what you want is not what you say,
i do what i did and i pray;

the vision of the times to come,
a heaven it might seem to some,
the days pass by as the thoughts go numb,
to the same tune i still hum;

glitters of hope remain close,
a battle i was ready to loose,
on the air once i cruised,
today i try standing up all bruised.



-dabeer hemani

Dear my love - a personal interpretation of beethoven's music

dear my love
i can see the place where
dreams of ours are ripped bare
no one seems to care

dear my love
i have gone to the place where
everything is there but love is rare
they maybe two but not a pair

dear my love
there are no words to speak
my eyes cannot stop these tears to leak
they see me strong but never have i been so weak

dear my love
the time is gone
medals and crowns you may have won
me that you havent known

dear my love
the darkness is creeping in
thy purity is the only sin
and you know how it has been

dear my love
you have gone so far
levels you set i couldnt par
i still have the love alive for how you are

dear my love
these words are the last
thy ship may be wrecked by i hold the mast
and a promise that i wont regret the past




Dabeer Hemani

abstraction of an untitled story

a wish i still have deep inside
promises that didnt mean to abide
going back into the ocean with the last tide
this alien in the world has lost its only guide

fright, scream, tears and pain
moments when you cant see anything sane
the dreams that were to be slain
got to loose everything as tonight i got nothing to gain

the parts of my life i collect togather today
truth is the only thing i have left to say
speaking makes me numb so here my tears pray
feels good showering in the cold winter spray

once smooth memories that are now fine
my messiah wasnt to be time
never did i know my crime
a life sold for quater of a dime

this space has depth in its self
screaming i bleed in this world gone deaf
putting togather all that is now left
lying brusied and broken form a lost quest

these peices that i posses are a treasure now
this the clerfy to the king they bow
last stormy night was when i was to know
the seeds i sowed were still to grow

that gentel touch and the turning of another year
guilt that is hidden in every falling tear
my self is now i fear
the past i once saw is again very near




Dabeer Hemani

the warm morning river

waiting for the sun to rise
no mercy as the baby
failure worth a million tries
the arch of my world is through your eyes

that wish flying on the wind
frustration building within
my virtue is a holy sin
a dead me deserves your grin

to do whats right today
winter come; a bath in the shining ray
no blacks or white; these areas are grey
in mourge, dead, my concious lay

fall as the tears of thy soul
faces rubbed dark as charcoal
these fishes are to break the shoal
this was my way and that was the goal

a purifying act of silence
seeking the easy way to guidence
the destruction was to be immense
me and myself alone in the crowd so dense

the fear starts to grip as the teeth tremble
thy blood is the victory symbol
it may not look like but its able
to rewrite this song and give you another fable

the darkness shows me the way to calm
feel as the river flows down my arm
how good u do when u are to harm
the coldness makes you feel the river so warm


Dabeer Hemani

Nuktey (Sufi Inspired Urdu Poetry)

Nuktey
Dabeer Hemani


Basti mein in murdoo ki
Zindagi ko parvan charhana ha

Ek nuktey k ghulam ban ge hazar
Ghoomay ja baja har bazaar

K eik meri aas thi
Who bhi jo meri pyas thi
Us nuktey k who loogh
Uthey bachey chor maa ki ghud

Yad aaya woh jo us din aya tha nazar
Jis k naam pe hum ne ki eik zindagi basar
Who nuktey na miley jahan
Hum chor aey apna sab kutch wahan

Humey yad sab kutch tha magar
Sabar ker k unke hum chaley dagar
Nuktey phir jag uthey eik din
Ghulam unke hai sarey insaa o jinn

Dekh raha hon mei yahan beth
Rang jo bikharey ga har har khet
K un nukto k baghair lafzoo ki kya okaat
Jaisey namaz ho bina rakaat

Gar unko ghum ho tu kyun na mein rou jaon
Unke liye mei tu bas mar jao
Tamam lugat ha dushman-e-nukta
Ab mujh pe aa nahi sakta koi sakta

Abb tu safey bandhi hain k ho ada namaz
Kahey na koi ab k aai na humey awaz





perhaps the first sufi poem ive ever written.. and in urdu!!

If..

this is something i wrote two years back..
thankyou Senjuti for appriciating =)

and by the way on a more personal note.. an year down the line i got the answer to the poem..


If...
By: Dabeer Hemani


If the world would be coming to its end today
Would you still wait for me and say
With you I can never betray
We will live the day just our way

If the sun would stop burning today
With me would you like to stay
Enjoy its each and every ray
And bear its heat and not go stray

If the moon would descend upon the earth today
Would you still wake up to wish a good day
While the world joys, with me will you like to lay
Bear the hardships, the actions for which I have to pay

If I was to die today
Will you accompany me to the bay
Watch me turning blue and grey
And cry for me as I go on my way

untitled

obviously i am new at blogging so ive decided not to follow any rules (if there are any at all) and write about every and anything i feel about.
i always wanted to be an author.. always felt like writing from the start but maybe god had some other plans for me and in Him i trust =)

i wait for the time to come
maybe when you will know some
music was mine which you now hum
& feel as your fingers go numb

drowing into the sea of lies
failing after a million tries
a shock too much for my size
everything but my concious dies

living was never this hard
not that this was the toughest part
thought i had my trump card
a dead body on the push cart

coming back to the life that was
walking down the lane across
weeping for a living loss
a dream that was badly tossed

not much i did
into the sheets i slid
of thoughts i wanted to get rid
only if i could put the highest bid

apart from this my aims were alive
so many things i did for those five
into the ocean of calmness i want to dive
only if i could get around into the hive

the words are only a hint of the space
they may tell you about a fallen grance
gradients of a line i trace
there wasnt anything else i could face

though the fragrance is strong
and i still stand tall
no one could say he could have falled
until the day i got that call

and did i see over the horizon
no wine for me i drank the poison
a letter and a double barrel gun
those were the remains of a battle i won

untitled

untitled
dabeer hemani



have you ever thought about someone this hard?
maybe i have

have you ever kissed so many times?
maybe i have
maybe it wasnt me
it wasnt even she
but yes this was the same tree
and now i cant see
you set me free

have you ever loved soemone this much
maybe i have
maybe it wasnt my touch
you always wanted to be first
but it was never enough
and now i cant feel love
you are high above

have you ever made so many plans
kicked all those cola cans
stared at the ceiling fans
maybe i have
maybe i shouldnt have
but now i change lanes
a dream with broken panes
you wont take any names

have you ever been sad so long
maybe i have
maybe i dont remember that
alone in the dark i sat
but what did i get
a music with no beat
looking at an empty seat
you cant feel the heat

have you ever tried running away
maybe i have
in every way i sawy
said what i wasnt supposed to say
my lips would move and they would pray
but here alone i lay
a hope that you may
not go the other way


have you ever tried to forget someone
maybe i have
maybe i couldnt do
yes you know who
and yes we always knew
we were among the few
but in the falling dew
in my life's short review
you were the only view